This is an old post from Georgie that I loved at the time. Now, I think the whole model of screwing up and getting back on track is flawed. I'm guessing she may feel similarly, but if you're in that mindset of trying to change a behavior or pattern and feeling like you're getting nowhere, this maybe gives some perspective on what to expect. Spoiler alert: Don't expect perfection or divine intervention. It's going to be messy and take time. It will feel like you're going in circles, until one day you notice how the unwanted behavior happens less frequently and you bounce back faster with less drama.
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Many times people think progress will look like this:
Before:
Screw up --> feel bad --> screw up more --> feel worse ---> keep screwing up ---> divine intervention or serious wake up call --> get back on track days later (or weeks).
And then they'll decide to change and expect:
No screw up ever.
In real life it looks more like Stage 1: Screw up for a day --> feel bad --> screw up more --> feel worse ---> remember I don't have to keep doing this --> get back on track Stage 2: Screw up for a day --> feel bad --> screw up more --> remember I don't have to keep doing this --> get back on track Stage 3: Screw up for a day --> feel bad --> remember I don't have to keep doing this --> get back on track Stage 4: Screw up for a day --> remember I don't have to keep doing this --> get back on track Stage 5: Screw up for an hour --> remember I don't have to keep doing this --> get back on track
Stage 6: Screw up for a few minutes --> remember I don't have to keep doing this --> get back on track
Stage 7: Consider screw up --> remember that never works --> decide otherwise
So there's a lot of steps between our old patterns and never making a mistake! And even after we get to that Level 7 event, we can still dabble in levels 6 and 5. :)