I've talked before about gaining quite a bit of weight coming out of my most disordered eating. Half of that weight I really needed in order to be healthy, the other half was overachieving, but it disappeared quickly. Do you know why? A healthy active lifestyle and a positive mindset didn't support the higher weight. The higher weight was a big tangle of binges and fear and self-loathing. Once I calmed down, ditched the destructive habits, and became all about taking care of myself, my weight couldn't go anywhere but to "healthy, happy fit person" because that's how I was living and thinking.
Put the healthy, happy, fit person behaviors first and the weight takes care of itself. Put the weight first and you will destroy yourself trying to influence the numbers.
More thoughts on this...
I felt that pursuing thinness was required. I might not be able to maintain the extreme leanness that society seems to idolize, but the pursuit of it will keep me from gaining. It will keep my body "acceptable." This is some backward logic. Pursuing thinness for its own sake actually pushed my weight higher than my natural set point thanks to the hormonal and metabolic backlash. Plus, the process was miserable and fear-driven. It's not like I was enjoying it, or like it was working. The reasoning goes that you will punish and deprive your body to achieve a certain weight, and this will somehow make you healthy and happy? Yeah, no.
Pursuing health and happiness directly gets you there much faster, and your body will thrive.
YASS! Preach gurrrl! (can't remember how to insert emoji! But insert jazz hands here)