Wanting to garner some thoughts on something i have been struggling with for years. I have a compulsive 10pm fruit salad and yoghurt compulsion that i cannot seem to break up from. Been recovered weight wise for almost a year and do ok with lunch and some food during the day but still find myself obsessing over my fruit bowl and night time eating. Since recovery i wake up in the night and eat. Its a habit now i am fully aware of and know that i am physically hungry at this time but cant figure out how to stop. Even if eat all my calories during the day i still compulsively want my fruit and that stops me from filling up during the day to allow for this. Being weight restored i eat about three times what i used to but checked in after lunch yesterday and realised i still never feel "full". At the end of every meal i still have that depression feeling that 'damn my food is over'. This is a bit of ramble but i would love to hear any experiences with night time eating and rituals that you had to break. I do recognise it is now some weird form of habit and comfort for me that i desperately need to break. I do follow Stephanie Buttermore and love the whole 'all in' thing but sadly cannot admit to being this free yet - i wish i could be but just cannot and an even though i eat a lot now and have gained weight truthfully i am still too painfully aware of everything i eat.
Any thoughts or opinions would be so appreciated!
There is no binge eating monster without restriction. Restriction is what creates that feeling of wanting to eat and eat and never stop. How you stop restricting is up to you. Some people do it all at once, eat totally freely, gain whatever they gain, and then let their weight settle as their appetite tapers off. That's perfectly valid and I've done it that way. Recovering from anorexia, it was the way to go for me. Of course, I gradually started restricting again and ended up in a restrict/binge/overexercise pattern that went on for years. The second time, I came out of restriction more gradually, easing up on my rules, allowing for more flexibility, learning to honor hunger and fullness, and building trust in my body. That takes longer but is also effective if you keep pushing the boundaries toward total freedom and don't settle for some kind of pseudo recovery where you're eating a little more but with the same fearful diet mentality.