From skwigg's journal:
You guys, something amazing happened yesterday. Only I didn't realize it was amazing until like an hour later when I thought about what I'd done. I finished lunch and wanted some dessert. I had at least half a cup of marshmallow cream frosting leftover from my cupcakes. I'd put it in a container in the refrigerator. I was puzzling over how I might eat it and then it hit me. I grabbed the container of frosting, a box of Nilla Wafers and a butter knife. I carried it all to the living room, sat down in front of the TV, and one at a time frosted and ate 4 Nilla Wafers. Then I didn't want any more. So I got up and put it all away.
What's kooky about this is that I broke all of my own "rules" that I used to have. I didn't predecide how much I was going to eat. I didn't portion out the amount before I sat down. I ate directly out of the container, in front of a TV no less. But I had zero concerns about overeating because I trust myself to know when I've had enough, and I trust that there's always more where that came from, and I trust that nothing bad and irreversible will happen, regardless of the portion I choose. Different choices have different outcomes, but it's not possible to do it "wrong."
I stopped eating when I didn't want any more. That's almost always why I stop eating now. I don't want any more and I know I can have it again later, whatever it is. It's not because I'm totally stuffed, or 80 percent full, or my portion's gone, or the show is over, or I need to finish the rest of it, or this bite doesn't taste as good, or any of the other tricksy tricks I would try to use as cues. I just hit a point where I know I'm done. It's weird. And wonderful.
This is a post from skwigg's journal on the old site.
I am the happiest happy eater lately! I thought I had this all figured out a long time ago. What I've come to realize is that it just keeps getting better, not as I learn more, but as I forget more! Forget calories, forget macros, forget guidelines, templates, and labels. Don't worry about what the scale says, or what the experts recommend, or what used to work. The more completely I trust myself in the moment, and the more I own my choices and outcomes, the better everything gets. I've been flying without a hint of a food guideline for many weeks now. It's so fun!
I'm not always hungry before meals, usually, but not always. My meals aren't always balanced. Sometimes I have frosting for breakfast, or skip breakfast, or eat two breakfasts. Sometimes I eat just enough, sometimes not. Most days I eat plenty of fruits and vegetables. Some days I have none. I sit down to lovingly prepared home cooked meals and I also eat processed convenience food standing up. I've come to realize that it's not possible to do it wrong. There's only what I like and what I don't.
I like to: feel good, be healthy, be strong, enjoy every meal, be hungry for most meals, fit in my clothes, sleep soundly, poop every day (lol), exercise for fun, bake, eat out, participate, share.
I don't like to: feel obligated, feel guilty, feel painfully full, isolate myself, ignore hunger, ignore fatigue, restrict, let fear drive my decisions.
This clarifies so much! What do I like? How do I want to feel? I can't go wrong if those are the deciding factors. I can go very wrong if I'm guided by lots of external rules and opinions, or if I'm focused on outcomes over behaviors.
I've been eating a lot more carbs lately: beans, potatoes, cereal, bread, pasta, rice, fruit, cookies. I feel better when I do that. I'm physically stronger, I recover better, and I enjoy my food more. Nothing bad happens if I don't prioritize protein and fat. I can't believe it! That's one of the last "truths" I was holding onto.
So, I'm curious. If you were to think about the "I like to" and "I don't like to" ways of eating and being, what would some of your answers be? Anyone else care to share? I'd love to hear some more ideas in order to maybe expand my own. Letizia hit me right between the eyes a few weeks ago when we were talking about daily nutritional commitments (habits, templates, whatever you want to call them) and she said she didn't have any. Major light bulb!! It's not what you do, it's how you feel about yourself and food. If you feel good and trust yourself, you don't need a list of guidelines and behaviors to get through the day, or to judge yourself by at night. Maybe? Or maybe I'm on another planet right now. Let me know. LOL