Not asking a question here, but just wanted to throw this out there: Skwigg, you are SO generous with your time and sharing your hard-earned experience. Thank you so much for being you.
Yes, totally agree! Thanks so much for all that you give to us.
(Oh, why can't I get the quote function to work?)
Anyway- apologies for my absence, which is partially explained by question below.
How do you escape the weight-loss /fat-loss mindset? I keep reading to 'just let it go' but sorry, it doesn't work- at least not for me. My first impulse is always 'thinner' (even though I am at a good weight for me) and I cannot escape this, seemingly.
I suspectthis is why none of the approaches I have tried work for me- I self-sabotage and give up on fitness programs because truly all I want to do is to be thinner, if I am truly honest.
I appreciate that you can't solve this problem for me but any thoughts appreciated! :D Thank you.
I've thought a lot about Tangentlines same post and don't know why I haven't said anything before. You really are very generous, not to mention helpful, and I know I'm very grateful! Thank you for posing those questions - I was reflecting on them last night and think I will do some writing today. Thank you..
Agreed, thank you for being so open Skwigg with sharing your knowledge and insight. Although I don't post often, I read each of your responses and always feel reassured and hopeful after doing so.
I recently completed a whole 30 challenge (veggies, lean meats, healthy fats, fruts/nuts). I felt so great after 30 days that I kept going for 95 days. Literally have not felt better in my life. I had zero cravings and was actually cooking and experimenting more than ever. I ran the Chicago Marathon Sunday and since then its been a free for all in my house....any sugar/grain/carb you can name, I've eaten it. I know it's ok to treat yourself and refuel but the binging behavior is getting to me...plus I simply feel crappy! I didn't feel deprived at all during whole 30 so I don't think it's to blame. How to I "reset" my mind and switch from binge-mode back to healthy eating? I only need one day of nourishing my body to help me get back on track yet I can't seem to get there.
Martha Quest, the way you solve that riddle, or the way I solved it, was to accept that rock solid healthy sustainable daily habits ARE the way to get thinner. There is no other way. No strict diet, no 12 week plan, no extreme workout will cut it because all of those are temporary and create backlash. You have to morph your every day habits into those of someone who is leaner and fitter.
This is a tricky mindbender but it's really important to grasp. You can't put weight loss first as in, I'm going to go on this diet and lose x pounds by x date. You have to put the habits above all else - I'm going to eat plenty of fruits and vegetables every day, real food, quality protein, healthy fat, smaller portions, regular exercise. I'm going to reduce or eliminate binges and emotional eating - you know, LEAN HEALTHY people habits! You don't do it all at once. It's a major transformation for some of us (me) so you change one thing at a time. Maybe nothing happens as quickly as if you'd gone on a grapefruit diet, but changes happen, big ones, permanent ones.
Was I a healthy weight and a fit person at 5'8" and 148 pounds? Yeah, sure. Was I going to "just let it go" when it came to the idea of weight loss and being leaner and smaller? Hell to the no! I knew I wasn't happy, didn't like the way I looked in photos, didn't fit in some of my favorite clothes. Self-acceptance wasn't an issue. I totally loved and accepted myself and treated myself with respect. I also fully acknowledged that my current daily habits had produced my current look. If I didn't love the look, I had to change the habits. It wasn't about being harder on myself or setting unrealistic weight loss goals. It was about calmly and pragmatically addressing my habits. Could I eat a little better? Lift a little more? Tighten up some portions? Create a more positive mindset? Yes to all of those, so I did it. And damned if that didn't change my weight.
I hadn't realized it until I started typing this paragraph, but I'm closing in on a 20 pound weight loss. In my upper 140s hard training, big eating days if someone had suggested that I needed to lose 20 pounds, I probably would have punched them in the face. I was working my ass off and I did NOT need to lose 20 pounds!! But when I changed my habits that's what happened, slowly and with zero drama. My weight naturally settled lower than I thought possible, with no diet and no extreme measures. Consistency turned out to be the big tricky missing piece of the puzzle. It's like what Georgie said in her perfectionism post - "Small, positive acts done many times result in weight loss. Isolated heroics get you nowhere." And I'd been all about the isolated heroics before! That's why it all seemed so hard, why it was always temporary.
This whole journey hasn't really been about the weight loss. It's been about being as happy and healthy as possible. If weight loss had been the main or only focus, I'd have had a full blown breakdown a long time ago because my rate of weight loss has been a half pound to one pound every 1-2 MONTHS. Dang! If I'd been looking for "results" ever week, I'd have gone totally batshit by now, tried more extreme things, quit and regained multiple times.
So, wow, I'm rambling. There is nothing wrong with weight loss. There's nothing wrong with wanting to be at the leaner and smaller end of healthy. A healthy weight range is a surprisingly huge spread. I could weigh between 122 and 162 and be in a healthy weight range for my height. 40 pounds! That's a big difference! It's all acceptable. It just depends on what is sustainable for you (in terms of daily habits) and what makes you happy and healthy (in terms of daily habits).
All you need to remember is that you can't achieve permanent weight loss by going on a temporary low-calorie diet. It's not about dieting. You look more fit when you get stronger and faster and train more consistently. You feel better and look more radiant and healthy when you eat real food. You get leaner when your portions are appropriate for or a little shy of your current weight and activity level. It's the big picture of your every day habits. Fine tune those and your weight will do what it should. Accept that small positive steps are the way to make big changes, maybe the only way. It's not like there's some epic choice between happy eater moderation and going on a crazy ass diet. Crazy ass diets only make you fatter and cause more food issues.
ML, I did 30 days Paleo and the exact same thing happened. I needed to eat all of the sugar/grains/carbs on the planet, and that was without the depletion of a marathon involved. So, don't feel bad. I think it's totally normal. Instead of telling yourself that you need to get in a whole day of nourishing real food, get in one meal. Don't even subconsciously entertain the idea that you're going to cut off your bread/sugar supply again or you'll keep overeating the stuff. Just casually up the fat, protein, and plant content until things are more balanced. Some options are putting nut butter on the bread, or a lot of meat and vegetables on a small amount of pasta, coconut or whole milk or full-fat Greek yogurt on the cereal, or some full-fat premium ice cream on a little bit of cake. Gradually sneak out of sugar land and back toward fat and protein land by making carb portions a little smaller and upping the fat. It works for me anyway, I suspect because it stabilizes my blood sugar and cravings without saying, "No cake! No cereal! Pasta bad!."
Also, thanks to everybody for the kind words. This will sound weird but helping you helps me. I'm happy to do it because it strengthens and clarifies all of this in my own mind.
Busy is a good thing for me unless it crosses over into stress. When I'm busy I don't worry about food, which is awesome. When I'm stressed and busy, that's when food decisions can get downright dumb. In that case, I have to become more conscious of taking breaks and creating quiet time, even if it's only 5 minutes of peace here and there. And I have to make healthy food very easy, I mean VERY easy. If it's there and it's ready to go, I'll eat it. If any elaborate preparation has to occur, I'll eat whatever is in the nearest box, vending machine, or drive-thru.
My sanity savers when life is crazy are things like: a mindful stretch, a quick walk with the dog, going outside and looking at the sky, or locking myself in the bathroom (lol). Sometimes you just need everyone to get the hell away from you for a few minutes and the bathroom is the only viable option.
My food tricks are to put single servings in Ziploc bags ahead of time. If I can open the refrigerator and grab, a baggie of sliced roast beef, a piece of good cheese, a baggie of carrots, and an apple, I will eat that. If no such options are available, I'll find myself eating whatever is around.
Thank you. THis all makes so much sense. I flip flop from just busy to busy stressed all the time. I need to manage my stress better but find I only commit to it when I'm less stressed... its a cycle!! haha oie. But yes, the preparation ahead of time is a huge thing. I'll make a point of doing that. And locking myself in the bathroom. that seems reasonable. haha.
Love this thread !!! Skwigg you are the best!!! You always hit the nail on a head with your answers. I wish I had your outlook on happy eating. Im hopeful though that one day i will wake up and have that light bulb moment lol
any who here is my question. What kinda tabata drills do you do ??? Many thanks