Hi Alexandra - like you I read loads of books but some just fanned the flames of my diet/Ed mind. There's lots of great journals here that really helped a lot. I've also started my own and I'm now seeing so much more; repeated habits, B&W thinking, judgements, Rules.... I'm learning it's more to do with my type thinking rather than food types. Decades of crazy diets really left a legacy with me but I'm becoming free thanks to
Hi Wil, yes to some fanning the flames! And I can absolutley relate to the thinking being the issue. I remember reading this small ebook called 'The Overfed Head' :) and that's exactly how I feel a lot of the time. I keep thinking about that book at the moment so I may need to dig it up. So great to hear that you're becoming free due to this forum. Fantastic!
Hi Alexandra!! So much of your story is similar to my own. Super skinny as a child, then began emotional and binge eating at age 11 or 12. I weighed over 300 lbs by the time I was in high school. I didn't read Geneen Roth, but I did use a couple of faith based intuitive eating books. I shed over 120 lbs but seriously screwed up my eating habits and mindset. I began hording food to binge on, and restricting myself to the point starving hunger so I could lose weight. Even hunger and fullness became a rule.
I found the most help from calorie counting at first, only because it allowed me to reeducate myself that I could eat before I was shaking with hunger yet still maintain a healthy weight, and it didn't have to be all or nothing with good/bad foods. Then, I discovered Jill Coleman's food obsession program and it really, really helped me so much. I actually was able to let go of calorie counting and began trusting myself.
Still a work in progress. I'm working through Precision Nutrition right now. Sometimes I really like it and even love it, and sometimes I just want to do my own thing lol! Right now I mostly focus on the habits, and do the suggested food intakes as I feel up to it. I believe Georgie Fear was a consultant for PN for a long time; their habits are very similar to her Lean Habits book. I haven't read Overfed Head yet. That sounds really good!
I really love being here on the forums. It's been healing and helpful to have a place I can come to with supportive, sensible women that get it and help me walk through my own journey of happy eating and exercising. big hugs, and xo
Hi livevintageously - lovely to meet you! :) Oh yeah, I hear you about the hunger and fullness rule. I still struggle a bit with that one.
So glad you found Jill's program helpfull. I've heard of her but haven't really looked into her stuff, so I might go and check it out.
Yay for you being here! It is such a lovely supportive place, amoungst all the craziness out there. Big hugs to you too x
Big ramble coming -
After all the craziness of late with elimination diets and waaaay too much internet researching about food intolerances and histamines, I found myself on the weekend re-reading every single page on the Eat Like A Normal Person website. I love this website! She basically takes the Allan Carr quit smoking method and applies it to binging, compulsive eating, grazing etc. Like me, she loved the BOB approach but it didn't completely work for her. So I'm currently in the high nourishment phase, focusing on 3 meals a day and eating till I'm completely full.
Giving myself permission to eat more is huge for me. It's amazing how in doing this I can see where I've still been restricting. Sneaky things like only having half a cup of full fat milk and filling the rest of the cup with water; using hot drinks like tea or coffee to 'fill in the gaps' when I haven't eaten to fullness; giving myself full permission to have a half a cup of oats, instead of my usual third of a cup, for my morning porridge. And it's amazing. Even just having a little more oats, and more full fat milk I am fuller longer. Duh! :) Of course. It's the permission aspect to all of this which is huge for me. The funny thing is I got to thinking about the belief I have that eating less worked for me in the past to get thinner. I've realised this is not true. It worked for a short amount of time (2 years at best) which led me to anorexia and binge eating and then a higher weight. So if I look at my entire life up until now, restricting and attempting to eat less to get thinner has not worked. If it worked I'd be thinner right now. Mind blown!
Blood tests are back and I see my naturopath later this week , so it will be interesting to see what shows up.
Either way I'm really enjoying uncovering all these bs restrictive habits and beliefs I still have lurking around.
Itís crazy how many layers of restriction we build up. Little things like ordering dressing on the side, removing the bun, and filling up on vegetables are presented as common sense, virtuous behavior by diet culture. The mindset is so clingy! Years into this journey, Iíd keep finding subtle restrictions that I wasnít even aware of. Itís a huge step to develop awareness of these thoughts and behaviors and to choose satisfaction instead of autopilot restriction. Let us know how the high-nourishment goes. Do you feel better?
It really is crazy, skwigg! I'm amazed how I can still have these restricting thoughts after such a long time since I had an ED. It's only day 2 and already I feel like something has shifted in my brain around all of this. It's exciting and a little scary to be honest. I'll keep you posted on the high nourishment.